More than Equal
(Thoughts on feminism)
On what we owe to the past:
Although I think women deserve more than a day in a year to be celebrated, it is a nice reminder to pause and think of how far women have come in the last 100 years of the women’s suffrage movement.
The ideas of liberation, justice, freedom, independence — I was born into these rights, I did not earn them. These rights were not an act of god, they were wrested one by one by long and remarkable struggles of women like Susan. B Anthony, Elizabeth Stanton, Alice Paul, Margaret Sanger, Gloria Steinhem and many more who fought tirelessly so we can study, work, vote and partcipate in public life. It seems unthinkable from today’s vantage point.
Feminism in the East:
The East had its own version of the feminist movement but it is interesting to note how liberation translates differently in different cultures. Women fight many of the same battles in varying degrees in different parts of the world.
In the East more than in the West, women continue to have a difficult destiny and fight silent battles against the patriarchy — first fathers, then brothers, then husbands and sons. They have to worry about their safety, worry about not being raped, touched, groped, worry about what they wear, how they look, how they present themselves, online, off-line, in-person, hide their cigarettes and tattoos, because mysteriously they are the fount of all honor but can simultaneously bring unthinkable shame if they are not careful enough. We subject women to these invisible shackles and then ask why are there not enough women in the workplace?
Feministic Privilege:
I have watched women concede their rightful place, their dreams, their ambitions over whims but continue to put on a strong smiling face because the idea of sacrifice is so deeply imbibed in the female ethos. Sometime ago the phrase ‘check your privilege’ used to annoy me, now I get it. I am a feminist because I have the freedom to be one, many others don’t. Feminism isn’t a tag you choose, it is how you live.
The Pipeline argument:
Data doesn’t lie. The statistics show that enough women don’t enter the pipelines for recruitment in the first place. Sure, that is a fact but there is more to it than summary statistics. The important question is not about what is the current situation but why is the current situation the way it is.
The answer according to me is just - causality. One thing caused the other. We cannot wish away centuries of female exclusion, oppression, entrenched patriarchy and pretend that it never happened. It collectively stymied and shortchanged generations of women to such a great extent that despite the perceived equality today we still have many embarassing battles to confront. The past cannot be undone, but it can be dealt with and compensated for.
Biological facts (menstruation and child birth) cannot be pushed under the carpet; we cant pretend they dont compromise lives, creativity and growth. But it is a fact that inherently most men and some women think, ‘yeah so what, just raise your game’. The assumption is we must quietly ascend the same mountains as men to be considered competent but with added burden thrust upon our shoulders. Many women feel feminism is outdated, we don’t need it any more and it is déclassé. They are wrong and need to wake up.
For my apparent, modern, feministic privileges I still worry about being excessively and artifically polite, I am concerned about being liked, not being too feminine or ditsy but striking just the right note so my male colleagues and male boss can just think of me as another straight-laced efficient young man, someone who blends in and is easy to work with.
Women on high-tables:
Every now and then I go to formal hall at Christ’s college I notice these beautifully painted portraits of male scholars (15th century to current) hanging from the walls, and no there isn’t a rule about hanging portraits of women, but it has only been 40 years (in the 450 year history of the college) since women were allowed to be admitted and even if that period generated a few female scholars of note I guess nobody bothered to paint their portraits. Then I glance over to the high table and try and search for female faces — usually, there isnt even one.
This is precisely why I think equality is a conservative aim. The pursuit of equal treatment clearly hasn’t gotten enough women into boardrooms, scientific labs, sports grounds, parliaments and every metaphorical high table of the world.
I am asked sometimes, given that women have the same rights as men, who or what is stopping women from achieving more? It is the absence of representation, the absence of women of color, the fact that we must compete in structures designed for and by the male consciousness, and then contend with the critique that we are too aggressive or bossy or impolite. Because for decades women took on low-level administrative or secretarial work and sealed the stereotype. Because we have abysmally few women in the intellectual corridors of the world, in the academy, so the culture never mutates. If you are a woman of color and an immigrant, you are even more worse off in terms of representation. In some ways I feel liberated that I am both so nothing is expected of me, no one would be surprised if I did not do well; so every little accomplishment is a bonus.
[Presumptive side note on what to teach young girls: Teach them to be critical of what they hear, even if it is praise (you get to hear a truckload of irrelevant garbage growing up) and more importantly teach them to watch out for people impining on their lives in the garb of innocent concern. Teach them not to be afraid to use their voice no matter how frail, to not make room and concede so somebody else can feel better, stop teaching them to be kind at their own expense.]
It is on us:
I feel ashamed at times sitting smug in my own perceived talent or brilliance because I have gotten myself through doors very few women and even fewer women of color have managed to pass. I sometimes think, that is enough for me. I like my own narrative and I shouldn’t divert my attention fighting to make it easier for others because thats not my job, but I was wrong.
Because I have come to realise that feministic privilege confers certain responsibilities. We carry within us the battle cries of women who faught for our liberation, this is a burden we cannot walk away from. What was acheived cannot be forgotten. But the story isn’t over yet, we cannot afford pampered ignorance. In some ways while the obvious has been achieved, some struggles have been pushed underground.
Women in some of the most liberated and progressive parts of the world are still fighting internal battles with themselves. They are afraid to be their authentic self, afraid to be contrarian. They believe they still have to be wives and mothers, it is their sacred duty and dont mind if it is their only legacy. It is still a taboo to be one and not the other or to dismiss both altogether. While a lot has been acheived, a lot is left to unravel and we need to play our part in history.
Some women spend their entire lives taming fires, others are built from them. Be the latter.
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